Planking Inside Sugar Free

Blogging. The very name conjurs images of something between sledding and clogging. See? That right there is reason enough to stay away. Stay far, far away! Yet here I am succumbing to new fangled technology that I am told is actually not all that new fangled anymore. Swell. Next thing you know planking will be out of style and I'll be behind again.


Look I'm going to be honest with you. I intend to use this "technology" in selfish ways. What those are yet I don't know, but I'm sure when I figure them out Google will try and shut me down. That will be my benchmark of success. Google doesn't do evil things you know. Everybody knows this and agrees with it. Of course Google is building a campus in Boulder, Colorado which I hear is an innately satanic town.
http://www.businessinsider.com/google-plans-to-build-an-enormous-new-campus-worry-boulder-colorado-residents-2014-12

Or is that Manitou Springs?
http://spookylaboratory.blogspot.com/2009/10/manitou-springs-city-of-evil.html

I don't know. All I know is The Flatirons sound ominous don't they? That and South Park is all Colorado and such. Which is hilarious, but frightening. I should mention I am not from Colorado. That would be Google.

I am as advertised both agoraphobic and diabetic. It's an excellent combination which, unknown to most people, gives me super powers. Don't believe me? Stay home all day and avoid sugar. I mean who does that? My outrageous claim is therefore safe. Furthermore I am spared the hassle of coming up with the exact specifics of my super power. It's super, and it's a power. I'm in talks with Marvel. That's all you need know.

I'm going to go inside somewhere and do some planking. Without sugar.