Dreamboat Gorilla

So maybe you're hairy. Maybe you don't bathe much. Maybe you like to hang out sans clothing in your enclosure. You're in luck because you can be a star kid! Cancel that eHarmony profile because it turns out women dig you! In Japan.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3139679/Meet-Shabani-handsome-gorilla-raised-Australia-fame-Japan-women-flock-zoo-just-him.html


Coming up first in the life-is-always-stranger-in-Japan category Shabani the Gorilla is turning heads and wooing hearts at the Higashiyama Zoo in Nagoya, Japan.


I can't make this stuff up, and honestly just look at the pictures of this dashing simian! Seriously he looks good. I have seen male models that don't look quite as good. Not that I look at a lot of male models. You flip through Glamour at the dentist office you get what you get. Stay on target Luke.


The point is this Gorilla is handsome. He really is, and as such it might explain why early Homo Sapiens interbred with Neanderthals.

http://news.yahoo.com/early-europeans-interbred-neanderthals-184120788.html

At first glance one might look at a Neanderthal and think no sir! No way! I am not going to prom with THAT! However, you get a load of Shabani the Gorilla and suddenly things are different. I mean what if there were Neanderthal dreamboats on a caliber with Shabani the Gorilla? Huh? Then what? Suddenly those weak Homo Sapien knees make sense. Suddenly being bonked over the head with a club and drug into a cave to cuddle in saber tooth skins seems plausible.


Look I'm not suggesting anyone should make like a Japanese tween and go all fangurl over a Silverback Gorilla, but I am saying if a Gorilla can look like this, maybe the whole "ugh! I would not mate with a caveman!" thing isn't as sensible as it seems. Not that you will ever have the opportunity to mate with a caveman. They all died out. Mostly. Sort of. Listen if you're ever in Sturgis and you see a Neanderthal or hey! even a Cro Magnon riding a Harley tell him there are a bunch of interested anthropologists looking for a date. In Japan. Hominid..Hominid!