The Lord's Name Not in Vain

I have my quirks. One of them is I use the Lord's name in "vain" a lot---or rather I am accused of using His name in vain.


Allow me to clear the record: I don't use the Lord's name in vain. Nope. Not at all. Each time it escapes my lips it is aimed. Targeted. Pointed directly in desperate prayer at the object or event of my frustration that it may be destroyed, thwarted, reinstalled, redirected, unmade. There is nothing vain about it. For instance when a spider jumps at me, a hammer drops onto my foot, or a drunken fool swerves into my lane, I am known to launch into one or two various colorful renderings of His mighty name, and there is in that moment of intense "prayer" the implicit understanding between me and God that what I mean is: Look Lord! There it is Lord! May all the righteous fury of creation rend this offensive thing and remove it from the face of the Earth.There is the thing that is unholy and of the devil and must be smitten! Smite it! Smite! That is not in vain. It is very much meant in the most spiritually productive of ways. I am beseeching the God of Creation in all sincerity for redress of the wrongs imposed upon me by His creation and I acknowledge with great humility that He is the final arbiter of the refund which I seek, that being the reason I call upon Him in such a stressful manner.


It never works.


Karma on the other hand does seem to make an appearance every now and then. Perhaps the Buddhists are on to something. Don't smite me. For *&^ &^%$!